I'm Engaged

My life, it's filled with love and hate. But I've spent most of it trying to figure out witch one over powers witch. I've loved a lot of girls, I've loved all of my friends and I've loved all of my family but still to this day I'm not sure I've ever really been IN LOVE. 

   I say that to and I'm  sorry to Nicole, Nicole, Amanda, Kelly, Angela and a few others. But the fact of the matter is, i've never really know what love is. Sure, I've said it a million times but to be honest (for once in my life) I don't KNOW what love is. It's always been a fallback statement for me. It's always said to keep you instreted in what I was saying or going through. I could feed you some bull about how I didn't know it would effect you in any way but I'm trying to be some what honest here. So the crap I've feed y'all for years just won't cut it. I'll get back to y'all in a second.

   Everynow and then I feel I have to write one of these, (this is who I am and this is why I do it speaches) bit there is a reason why I do it. I get these last night on earth feelings, ever so often and I know I have to say what I'm thinking right at that time, because if not, all that's going to be left of me is a memory of a man that drank too much, wrote too little and left yall not knowing who I truely was.  So I fix all that in nights like tonight.

   I know who I'am and I know what I'm really about. I know who I live, who I've always loved and the only thing I will ever love. IRS always going to be me an my bottle. Period, end of story. I'm a drinker, I'm a drunk, I'm a lush. I'm a al could call it. (say it fast and put it together). I don't blame no body for what I've become. Not saying I can't blame some of y'all but I'am who I am and i'm damn proud of it. 

    To put it short, would I be a different person if y'all read what I wrote or if y'all cane to my shows? Hell yes I would, but I can't put that on any of you. That's Gods job. (so you will go unpunished but he's a different story) just now that now I'm married to my writting so I can't fuck with y'all how I use to. 

    My life is filled with love, with hate and with tomorrow. The big debate is which one I'm going to put my all behind. And which one is going to give the most back to me. I can't give all my heart to a single person. I have way to much love in me for that. Not to mention that thr person that gets all my good will also have to take all my bad. And there's bot a person in earth that can handle all of that.


    So yeah, I'm getting married again. And I know it's true live this time. I'm marring into what will live me at 3 in the morning and 12 in the afternoon. I'm marring a love that is unconditional no matter what. I'm marring my words and I know they will always be there for me. No matter what crazy shit I say or write.


    Wait, did y'all think Was talking about a girl. Damn, I guess y'all don't really know me. And that's just sad.   Well, in case y'all missed it., Im engaged to my writing again. My one true love