Death can't be worse

This is crazy to day but it's more crazy to feel. I don't know what's wrong with me but I do know nothing is right with me. I think I've pushed my life to the limit and there's no more I can go. I'm not in a good place anymore. All of my goals and dreams I wanted to reach, I did. And when a dreamer can't dream anymore, what us he left with?my goals in life as a child mighthave been set to low but what they were, I reached. I want to make a millon dollars net in my life, I did that plus some. I wanted to name a kid after me. I did that and he's awesome. I wanted to drive a truck down the east coast. As crazy as that sounds, I drove that bug yellow truck from here to south carolina and loved every minute of it. Those where my goals as a kid. I had them writen down. I checked everyone of them off as I did it. It's crazy to say but the truth is, I've done what everyone ever wanted to do. I lived my perfect life. Everything you can imange, I've done. I've been married, I've been divorced. I've had healthy kids. I've been in love, lust, and just plaine Horney. I've enjoyed each of them the same and pushed all of them to the limit. I'm my life I've done more than iever wanted to do. I've left an impact on everyone I've ever meet. And I belive it's been on a postive note. But sadly, I don't want to lice anymore. I've alwas looked at killing yourself as a cowards way out but lately, I've noticed that I've been more coward than man. This is bottom and I've worse than hit it. I touched it and let my self get comfortable. My life feels like it's over. I've failed and i've failed ever one in it. It sucks that I'm saying this but it feels so good to admite it. 
 my future had not been written but if it wasn't for KidNova, it sure would be printed. I've lived the life I wanted to live. I'm so close to being done. I only wake up just so KidNova won't have to deal with anymore pain. 

  as much as I lve him, I don't live myself any more and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm done with my cries for help. I'm gonna sit down with pinky sometime over the next couple of weeks and me and her are gonna figure this all out. If you hear from me after that then it worked out. If u don't hear from me then that also means it worked out and I might be happier. Either way, I was one hell of a friend to you and if I wasn't, I'll make up for it in the next life

  death is the question I asked myself ever since I was about 12 years old. I asked it every time u was backed into a corner, and it was answered every time I fought myself out. But lately no ones Bren picking up when I called, so I guess it is what it is. 

  I love you all and tonight is what it us. But remember -MLR-MyLifeRocked because i lived it to the limit and I LIVED IT ALIVE. 

           CHris ROCK Glover