I'm just bad luck
I swear I'm bad news. Nothing good ever comes from me. This is a warning. A warning to all women. Don't get involved with me. Nothing good will come of it. I swear i'm cursed with a bad luck spell. Ladies, I tell u this as a warning. Stay away from me. I'm all kinds of bad news. I bring bad luck, bad news, heart break, heart ache and all things jinx. I'm no good for you. I'm all around bad news. There's no good that comes with dealing with me. In sure you'll get a couple of good months, a few good times but in the end, it just ends with bad shit. I'm not saying i'm gonna stop looking but I felt it was only wright that I give you fair warning.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Death can't be worse
This is crazy to day but it's more crazy to feel. I don't know what's wrong with me but I do know nothing is right with me. I think I've pushed my life to the limit and there's no more I can go. I'm not in a good place anymore. All of my goals and dreams I wanted to reach, I did. And when a dreamer can't dream anymore, what us he left with?my goals in life as a child mighthave been set to low but what they were, I reached. I want to make a millon dollars net in my life, I did that plus some. I wanted to name a kid after me. I did that and he's awesome. I wanted to drive a truck down the east coast. As crazy as that sounds, I drove that bug yellow truck from here to south carolina and loved every minute of it. Those where my goals as a kid. I had them writen down. I checked everyone of them off as I did it. It's crazy to say but the truth is, I've done what everyone ever wanted to do. I lived my perfect life. Everything you can imange, I've done. I've been married, I've been divorced. I've had healthy kids. I've been in love, lust, and just plaine Horney. I've enjoyed each of them the same and pushed all of them to the limit. I'm my life I've done more than iever wanted to do. I've left an impact on everyone I've ever meet. And I belive it's been on a postive note. But sadly, I don't want to lice anymore. I've alwas looked at killing yourself as a cowards way out but lately, I've noticed that I've been more coward than man. This is bottom and I've worse than hit it. I touched it and let my self get comfortable. My life feels like it's over. I've failed and i've failed ever one in it. It sucks that I'm saying this but it feels so good to admite it.
my future had not been written but if it wasn't for KidNova, it sure would be printed. I've lived the life I wanted to live. I'm so close to being done. I only wake up just so KidNova won't have to deal with anymore pain.
as much as I lve him, I don't live myself any more and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm done with my cries for help. I'm gonna sit down with pinky sometime over the next couple of weeks and me and her are gonna figure this all out. If you hear from me after that then it worked out. If u don't hear from me then that also means it worked out and I might be happier. Either way, I was one hell of a friend to you and if I wasn't, I'll make up for it in the next life
death is the question I asked myself ever since I was about 12 years old. I asked it every time u was backed into a corner, and it was answered every time I fought myself out. But lately no ones Bren picking up when I called, so I guess it is what it is.
I love you all and tonight is what it us. But remember -MLR-MyLifeRocked because i lived it to the limit and I LIVED IT ALIVE.
CHris ROCK Glover
my future had not been written but if it wasn't for KidNova, it sure would be printed. I've lived the life I wanted to live. I'm so close to being done. I only wake up just so KidNova won't have to deal with anymore pain.
as much as I lve him, I don't live myself any more and I don't know what to do anymore. I'm done with my cries for help. I'm gonna sit down with pinky sometime over the next couple of weeks and me and her are gonna figure this all out. If you hear from me after that then it worked out. If u don't hear from me then that also means it worked out and I might be happier. Either way, I was one hell of a friend to you and if I wasn't, I'll make up for it in the next life
death is the question I asked myself ever since I was about 12 years old. I asked it every time u was backed into a corner, and it was answered every time I fought myself out. But lately no ones Bren picking up when I called, so I guess it is what it is.
I love you all and tonight is what it us. But remember -MLR-MyLifeRocked because i lived it to the limit and I LIVED IT ALIVE.
CHris ROCK Glover
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Sometimes........
Edit
Sometimes
by Chris Glover on Tuesday, January 5, 2010 at 1:34am
Sometimes I look through my pads and read what I write.
Sometimes I want to tear the pages out because they hold so much hurt
Sometimes I'll just write the same words over and over
Sometimes I write about hate
Sometimes I write about love
Sometimes the words I write are scattered all over my pad
Sometimes I'm not writing for myself but for friends and loved ones
Sometimes I'll sit in my room and talk to myself for hours and not write a word of it down
Sometimes I overthink an event
Sometimes I really don't think at all.
Sometimes I wish I was dead
Sometimes I want to live forever
Sometimes I'll write something just like this, that has no begining, no middle and no end. Just because sometimes words don't say enough. And sometimes when I'm not saying anything I'm sayin the most.
But most of the time I'm just writing because I love to write.
Sometimes
by Chris Glover on Tuesday, January 5, 2010 at 1:34am
Sometimes I look through my pads and read what I write.
Sometimes I want to tear the pages out because they hold so much hurt
Sometimes I'll just write the same words over and over
Sometimes I write about hate
Sometimes I write about love
Sometimes the words I write are scattered all over my pad
Sometimes I'm not writing for myself but for friends and loved ones
Sometimes I'll sit in my room and talk to myself for hours and not write a word of it down
Sometimes I overthink an event
Sometimes I really don't think at all.
Sometimes I wish I was dead
Sometimes I want to live forever
Sometimes I'll write something just like this, that has no begining, no middle and no end. Just because sometimes words don't say enough. And sometimes when I'm not saying anything I'm sayin the most.
But most of the time I'm just writing because I love to write.
6 Millions ways........
Edit
6 million ways to......
by Chris Glover on Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 1:44am
There's 6 million ways to die I choose three. Love, hate and just being me. They all will leave you alone. Stuck by myself is were I start to zone. In love I wanted to sit on a thrown, be a King, find a Queen. Live in a country home. Just me and her away from the city. Living like royalty, watching over many. But dreams like that are always to good to be. It would be only a matter of time, before someone would come gunning for us, most likely someone we trust. Could it be, life would be, our worst enemy. It would be a plague that would take me Queen from me. So in the madness I turned to hate. Hate everything I saw, everything that was. I could trust no one, believe no one. Every word that I heard became a lie, it became the only truth was in I. So I took to me being my own private console, my own general, my own whole army. That lead to cracks in the wall, were I once stood tall, that would be the home to my soon future down fall. All paths will lead to death, so in each breath I exhale like there ain't nothing left. Now I sit back and count the ways, stuck here in a daze. My world of glory gone up in a blaze. But still to the world I strayed, I still want to play. So now I sleep and pray to rise another day, and look to add a fourth to my 6 million ways.
6 million ways to......
by Chris Glover on Thursday, January 7, 2010 at 1:44am
There's 6 million ways to die I choose three. Love, hate and just being me. They all will leave you alone. Stuck by myself is were I start to zone. In love I wanted to sit on a thrown, be a King, find a Queen. Live in a country home. Just me and her away from the city. Living like royalty, watching over many. But dreams like that are always to good to be. It would be only a matter of time, before someone would come gunning for us, most likely someone we trust. Could it be, life would be, our worst enemy. It would be a plague that would take me Queen from me. So in the madness I turned to hate. Hate everything I saw, everything that was. I could trust no one, believe no one. Every word that I heard became a lie, it became the only truth was in I. So I took to me being my own private console, my own general, my own whole army. That lead to cracks in the wall, were I once stood tall, that would be the home to my soon future down fall. All paths will lead to death, so in each breath I exhale like there ain't nothing left. Now I sit back and count the ways, stuck here in a daze. My world of glory gone up in a blaze. But still to the world I strayed, I still want to play. So now I sleep and pray to rise another day, and look to add a fourth to my 6 million ways.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Lost in a Thought
I got lost in a thought today. I'm not sure if I ever want to leave
it. It was a beautiful and magical thought. Dare I say it was a
perfect thought. But there was one problem. It wasn't my thought. My
mind was crossed with another and I need to discover what amazing
persons head I was in. A link that strong must be found again. My will
to regain this connection is almost greater than the thought it self.
But back to that thought, it wasn't a far of land of Daisy's,
roses and Lilly's. They were not white houses and picket fences. No
endless bars, no tables of food, not hundreds of scantly clad women
running around. It was much better than any of those things. Heck, it
was better than all those things put together.
I was in a clear space. It was empty. Like a blank piece of
paper. When I looked up, I just hundreds and thousands of letters
floating across the sky's. With a look at each letter, they would fall
out of the sky. Raining down on my blank canvas until pages upon pages
were full of words. Full of stories. Full of perfection. Full of
passion. Full of the future. Full of me.
This thought that I'm lost in is the most amazing feeling I've
ever had. But still sadly, this is not my thought. This is to great to
be one thought. This is millions of thoughts. But I think I've found
out who's thoughts these are. There all of your thoughts. I see your
vision, so know it's up to all of you to share these thoughts with
others. Stop reading people, start writing. Your vision is far to
beautiful not to share.
it. It was a beautiful and magical thought. Dare I say it was a
perfect thought. But there was one problem. It wasn't my thought. My
mind was crossed with another and I need to discover what amazing
persons head I was in. A link that strong must be found again. My will
to regain this connection is almost greater than the thought it self.
But back to that thought, it wasn't a far of land of Daisy's,
roses and Lilly's. They were not white houses and picket fences. No
endless bars, no tables of food, not hundreds of scantly clad women
running around. It was much better than any of those things. Heck, it
was better than all those things put together.
I was in a clear space. It was empty. Like a blank piece of
paper. When I looked up, I just hundreds and thousands of letters
floating across the sky's. With a look at each letter, they would fall
out of the sky. Raining down on my blank canvas until pages upon pages
were full of words. Full of stories. Full of perfection. Full of
passion. Full of the future. Full of me.
This thought that I'm lost in is the most amazing feeling I've
ever had. But still sadly, this is not my thought. This is to great to
be one thought. This is millions of thoughts. But I think I've found
out who's thoughts these are. There all of your thoughts. I see your
vision, so know it's up to all of you to share these thoughts with
others. Stop reading people, start writing. Your vision is far to
beautiful not to share.
Friday, September 3, 2010
I'm Engaged
My life, it's filled with love and hate. But I've spent most of it trying to figure out witch one over powers witch. I've loved a lot of girls, I've loved all of my friends and I've loved all of my family but still to this day I'm not sure I've ever really been IN LOVE.
I say that to and I'm sorry to Nicole, Nicole, Amanda, Kelly, Angela and a few others. But the fact of the matter is, i've never really know what love is. Sure, I've said it a million times but to be honest (for once in my life) I don't KNOW what love is. It's always been a fallback statement for me. It's always said to keep you instreted in what I was saying or going through. I could feed you some bull about how I didn't know it would effect you in any way but I'm trying to be some what honest here. So the crap I've feed y'all for years just won't cut it. I'll get back to y'all in a second.
Everynow and then I feel I have to write one of these, (this is who I am and this is why I do it speaches) bit there is a reason why I do it. I get these last night on earth feelings, ever so often and I know I have to say what I'm thinking right at that time, because if not, all that's going to be left of me is a memory of a man that drank too much, wrote too little and left yall not knowing who I truely was. So I fix all that in nights like tonight.
I know who I'am and I know what I'm really about. I know who I live, who I've always loved and the only thing I will ever love. IRS always going to be me an my bottle. Period, end of story. I'm a drinker, I'm a drunk, I'm a lush. I'm a al could call it. (say it fast and put it together). I don't blame no body for what I've become. Not saying I can't blame some of y'all but I'am who I am and i'm damn proud of it.
To put it short, would I be a different person if y'all read what I wrote or if y'all cane to my shows? Hell yes I would, but I can't put that on any of you. That's Gods job. (so you will go unpunished but he's a different story) just now that now I'm married to my writting so I can't fuck with y'all how I use to.
My life is filled with love, with hate and with tomorrow. The big debate is which one I'm going to put my all behind. And which one is going to give the most back to me. I can't give all my heart to a single person. I have way to much love in me for that. Not to mention that thr person that gets all my good will also have to take all my bad. And there's bot a person in earth that can handle all of that.
So yeah, I'm getting married again. And I know it's true live this time. I'm marring into what will live me at 3 in the morning and 12 in the afternoon. I'm marring a love that is unconditional no matter what. I'm marring my words and I know they will always be there for me. No matter what crazy shit I say or write.
Wait, did y'all think Was talking about a girl. Damn, I guess y'all don't really know me. And that's just sad. Well, in case y'all missed it., Im engaged to my writing again. My one true love
I say that to and I'm sorry to Nicole, Nicole, Amanda, Kelly, Angela and a few others. But the fact of the matter is, i've never really know what love is. Sure, I've said it a million times but to be honest (for once in my life) I don't KNOW what love is. It's always been a fallback statement for me. It's always said to keep you instreted in what I was saying or going through. I could feed you some bull about how I didn't know it would effect you in any way but I'm trying to be some what honest here. So the crap I've feed y'all for years just won't cut it. I'll get back to y'all in a second.
Everynow and then I feel I have to write one of these, (this is who I am and this is why I do it speaches) bit there is a reason why I do it. I get these last night on earth feelings, ever so often and I know I have to say what I'm thinking right at that time, because if not, all that's going to be left of me is a memory of a man that drank too much, wrote too little and left yall not knowing who I truely was. So I fix all that in nights like tonight.
I know who I'am and I know what I'm really about. I know who I live, who I've always loved and the only thing I will ever love. IRS always going to be me an my bottle. Period, end of story. I'm a drinker, I'm a drunk, I'm a lush. I'm a al could call it. (say it fast and put it together). I don't blame no body for what I've become. Not saying I can't blame some of y'all but I'am who I am and i'm damn proud of it.
To put it short, would I be a different person if y'all read what I wrote or if y'all cane to my shows? Hell yes I would, but I can't put that on any of you. That's Gods job. (so you will go unpunished but he's a different story) just now that now I'm married to my writting so I can't fuck with y'all how I use to.
My life is filled with love, with hate and with tomorrow. The big debate is which one I'm going to put my all behind. And which one is going to give the most back to me. I can't give all my heart to a single person. I have way to much love in me for that. Not to mention that thr person that gets all my good will also have to take all my bad. And there's bot a person in earth that can handle all of that.
So yeah, I'm getting married again. And I know it's true live this time. I'm marring into what will live me at 3 in the morning and 12 in the afternoon. I'm marring a love that is unconditional no matter what. I'm marring my words and I know they will always be there for me. No matter what crazy shit I say or write.
Wait, did y'all think Was talking about a girl. Damn, I guess y'all don't really know me. And that's just sad. Well, in case y'all missed it., Im engaged to my writing again. My one true love
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
My last Letter on this subject........ EVER (fuck most of y'all) I love you mama but you know how I felt about everybody else. This is our letter
Sup everybody, it's Chris, some of y'all knew me as Rock but everybody should know me as not giving a fuck. I tried for months trying to make my mothers passing a good thing fir everybody bit that didn't work. Everybody says my moms died so everybody could be better people, bullshit. Ain't none of y'all phony ass people done nothing better for yourselves or nothing better in her name. I'm not buying the bullshit you and your God is selling. Fuck all of you. My Moms ain't like most if talk then and I know she would of called the rest of you out now for all of your fake shit. Someone needs to say it, so I'll do it. I would be the first person she called out, but as if she was alive, I would pay it no Attn. I loved her more than any of the fake love I've showed all of y'all the last year. And I'm not going to start faking love for y'all now. Fuck more than half of y'all. You shitted on her when she needed you and y'all were not there for her so FUCK ALL OF YOU. more than half of you are reading this with out being my friends any way. So don't think I feel bad. I do everything I do for me and me alone. I love my son and I know he's going to be OK. No matter what the end story that's written about me is going to be. So simply put. FUCK EVERYBODY, DO WHAT EVER THE FUCK YOU WANT, KNOW THAT IN A FEW WEEKS/MONTHS THAT WHEN WHAT EVER I HAVE KILLS ME, I WENT OUT LIVING JUST HOW I LIVED. NOT GIVING FUCK ABOUT HOW YOU FELT ABOUT ME-- SIGNED CHRIS GLOVER SR.
Monday, August 23, 2010
The Break
There is a separation between life and love. At some point we all reach
it, it becomes a crossroads for our hearts. When do we discover it? Or
better yet when does it discover us? It is unleashed upon us like bats
out of Hell that suck the thoughts out of your mind and the feeling
from your soul. I don't know when I first got on this path to emptiness
and I don't know if I'll ever get off of it, Hell, I'm not even sure I
want to get off it. But I can figure that out later.
it, it becomes a crossroads for our hearts. When do we discover it? Or
better yet when does it discover us? It is unleashed upon us like bats
out of Hell that suck the thoughts out of your mind and the feeling
from your soul. I don't know when I first got on this path to emptiness
and I don't know if I'll ever get off of it, Hell, I'm not even sure I
want to get off it. But I can figure that out later.
My Melody
When the horns blows blow I feel captured by the rapture. The melody takes me to a far away place. I feel no pain, hurt or anger in this land. I know it's not a feeling I won't be able to enjoy for long so when I'm taken there I try to embrace every moment of it. This place takes me back to my childhood, back to when I was too stupid or naive to know the horrors the real world had planned for me. I see all of my friends that time has taken away or separated me from. I see the swing set and the slide that I would wake up early on weekend mornings, begging to go play on then. I see the images of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons. The Smurfs, the Snorks, Fragile Rock. I see my mothers fried chicken. Nothing but plates and plates of chicken legs, with as much ketcup as I want for them. I see Kelli, the first crush I ever had. She's siting on the fence looking so Innocent and pretty. I see a mirror and see something I don't see to often anymore, me smiling. I try to hold onto this moment fir as long as I can but the horns are fading now. My magic song is over. My happy place is now just another soon to be faded memory. Oh well, I guess I'll just hit repeat and see if those horns will take me back again.
Friday, August 20, 2010
If I....
If I......
If I told u I was dying, what would u say? If I told u there was no cure for me, how would u react? If I told u I only had months, maybe only weeks left, whould u still stand by me?
If I told u I was leaving, would u try to bring me back? If I broke ur heart, would u allow time to heal the wound or would just u grip and rip at it to keep the scares fresh? If I told you my mind and heart wasn't really in to u, would u try to kill me while I sleep?
If I need a shoulder to cry on would u lend it? If I needed to voice how I feel, would ur ears listen? If I fell down, would u extend a hand and help me to my feet? If I had no place to go, would u take me in? If I walked alone, would join join me?
What if we stopped with all the what if's and just did it. I don't even have to think twice on how I would answer any of these what if's. Cause I know I would be there for u in a heartbeat. What if everything could be that simple.
If I told u I was dying, what would u say? If I told u there was no cure for me, how would u react? If I told u I only had months, maybe only weeks left, whould u still stand by me?
If I told u I was leaving, would u try to bring me back? If I broke ur heart, would u allow time to heal the wound or would just u grip and rip at it to keep the scares fresh? If I told you my mind and heart wasn't really in to u, would u try to kill me while I sleep?
If I need a shoulder to cry on would u lend it? If I needed to voice how I feel, would ur ears listen? If I fell down, would u extend a hand and help me to my feet? If I had no place to go, would u take me in? If I walked alone, would join join me?
What if we stopped with all the what if's and just did it. I don't even have to think twice on how I would answer any of these what if's. Cause I know I would be there for u in a heartbeat. What if everything could be that simple.
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