Real Life

U remember when life was just as simple as living and dying. But somewere along the line the whole process of living got in the wAy of it all. I wish we could go back to when times were much more simple. oh well, I guess we just build and adjust, react and adapt. But a boy can dream, or at least think out loud. As I sit her listening to Dido and look over this years I've throw together, I'm forced to look back over the people I've touched, for better or for worse. And I wonder if there thankful for all I've done for them or if there full of hate for the way I've treated them. It's pretty much a 50-50 split, a one to one ratio. I'm not going to sit here and take about change because we can't change the past. I'm not even going to sit here and say a bunch of sorrys, if you truly know me and love me, you have forgiven me a thousand times over. And you know I'm not big on that self pity shit. I'm me and you knew exactly what I was when I was just being natural. You know the way we are supposted to be. Yeah, I guess I'm pretty fucked up but let's be honest, if it wasn't for people like me, why would anybody want to live. The fact of the matter is that all of you need me in your life. I'm the stories you talk about over dinner. I'm the guy that u point at and judge when your with your friends. I'm the free spirit that deep down you all want to be just like. I show the level of confidence that you all wish u had. I'm the inter you that you want to put on display. The funny part is, I'm just a figment of you imiagination. As real as i am to me, I don't really exsit. Even now as you read this, there's no words on this screen. I'm just a thought that was in your head. And you love it because when you see this you feel free. More free than you could ever be hidining in your shells, hidining behind you so call lifes. You call what your doing living. Let's be honest, you would trade in your lifes in a minute and you all know it. We all would. It doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human. There's nothing wrong with these feelings. It's simple. You just want to go back to when all you had to worry about was living and dying. Don't worry, contuine to live in your fantasy world. I'll be here living the life you want to, heck someones got to do it.